June 7, 2011 Dear Friends, On May 9th, we celebrated Robert William Pfeifer's life. It was a beautiful day. Many family members and close friends attended. It was wonderful to see my Daughter in Law and Grandsons one year after Robs passing.They are moving on with their lives. I am sure Rob would want them to do that. He can be very proud of his family. I am also moving on with my life. I have met new friends and I am enjoying decorating our new home. A few of our friends from California came to visit us. I hope we will have more visits from friends and relatives. My children and grandchildren keep my heart beating. I love hearing about their lives and look forward to the times I can be with them. I am looking forward to facilitating two Well Seasoned Women workshops in the fall. I also decided it was time for me to find a new challenge. Today I purchased a guitar. I have been playing the piano for several years, but never learned to play the guitar. I ordered one on the internet. Once it was time to push the " place your order button", I had a few butterflies in my stomach, but didn't let that stop me. I am looking forward to learning something new. I will let you know how It goes. February 9,2011 Dear Friends, Many things have changed since I last posted in my Journal. My husband and I decided to leave California and move to Henderson Nevada. We are living in Lake Las Vegas. It is a beautiul place to live and we have met some wonderful people. It is never easy leaving friends and family, but we felt the time was right for us to move. I am still involved in Well Seasoned Women and hope to continue facilitating WSW groups. I have not found that time heals the wounds of grief. In many ways it is more difficult . I read a quote that was written in the 1800's on a headstone in Ireland. " Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal". This is very true. Memories are so important . They can make you laugh and also make you cry. But they are always there and it is so important for me to remember my son and the 44 years I was able to have him with me. Time has allowed me to move on with my life. I know Rob would want me to do that. I enjoy my children and my grandchildren. I am grateful for "Skype" an internet site where I can actually see my family members on my computer. I think the little ones think Grammie lives in the computer. I have plans to visit all of them soon. I hope they will come to visit us too. Please feel free to contact me. I always enjoy hearing from my friends and all the Well Seasoned Women who have shared their life experiences with me. I believe we all need each other ,as none of us can walk through life experiences alone. Sharing our expereinces and the lessons we have learned from them, can bring encouragement to one another. Thank you again to those of you that supported me during this time. I realize I was never alone and many of you have walked though the steps of grief . You added just the right seasoning to my life so I have the courage to keep moving ahead with Well Seasoned Women. Brenda May 15, 2010 Dear friends, March 12, 2010, my beloved son Rob passed away. A very bitter spice has been added to my life experiences. Why my sons journey ended when he was only 44 years old is a question only God has the answer to. I can only accept what has happened and honor my son by doing what he would want, continue to love and his support his family. He left his beautiful wife Cathy and two great sons, Anthony and Martin. Robs brother Jeffrey and his sisters, Tamera, Jenilynn and Kristina will miss him. None of us can imagine not having him in our lives. However, his memory will live on and continue to bless all of us that knew him and loved him. I will add more information when the time is right for me. Our family is devestated at the moment and appreciate all the love and support so many people are giving us. Friendship is a gift we give one another. The Pfeifer family treasure that gift more than ever at this time. Thank you so much. Aug 24,2010 Dear friends, it has been a little over three months since we lost Rob. This has been one of the most difficult times of my life and I am sure it has been the same for our whole family. It s a life experiencee I never expected to have. At the preset time time, I am not sure where it will lead me in my life. I do know how important it is to meet another parent who has been through the same kind of loss. I have learned that many young adults die everyday and there are many grieving parents that need someone to understand their pain and grief. My son was laid to rest in Kauai, Hawaii. That was one of his favorite places. His wife, and two sons took him there a couple weeks ago. I am going this next week. I am looking forward to visitng the spot where he is laid to rest and to also enjoy the place he had so many found memories. I am hoping it will give me some peace amd comfort. I want to thank all of you that have sent condolences and have been such a wonderful support ,for not only me, but all of my family. We treasure every kind and comforting word. It really means so much. Soon, I hope I can write some of the lessons I have learned regarding grief. I am still in the learning process, but I am keeping a journal so I won't forget some of the treasures I have collected that helped me get through this sad period in my life. One special volunteer at the hospital told me " grief it to high to climb over, it is too big to climb under, so you jjust have to walk through it one step at a time.." I have found that to be so true. There is just no way around it. It is a process you have to go through and can only take it one step at a time. If I can encourage all of you in anyway, it would be to have patience and compassion for those who have lost a loved one. Grief does not have a time line and everyone goes through the process differently. There is nothing you can say that makes it better. Just let them know you care about them and will be there for them if they want to talk or just have someone to be with them. I have been seeing a Grief Counselor. For myself, I needed one on one counseliing. There may come a time when I will want to join a group but for now, I need all the attention on me. It has been helpful and given me some insight as to how I might continue on with my life. I am sure Rob would not want any of his family to stop reaching for their goals and get lost in our grief.. For now I will say "Aloha" After some very cold weather, and unusual storms, I expect you are hoping, as I do. that soon, "spring will be sprung." I have enjoyed some e-mails and phone calls from women regarding their interest In Well Seasoned Women . I have also been contacted by women who found "me" through the website site. It is always gratifying and extremely interesting hearing from people who I lost contact with and we can re-connect. Every time I hear someones story, it re-affirms my belief in the value of life experiences. I have a new Granddaughter, Nicolette. She was born December 18Th. I am looking forward to the birth of my 10Th grandchild. She is due on April 7Th. As the family grows, my heart grows right a long with it. There is always room for more. I have been doing fairly well with my New Year Resolutions. I am still keeping my stress level down. I keep tabs on the boundaries I have set for myself. Of course, there are always those "slip ups", but they are learning experiences, so are not wasted energy. January 2010 Happy New Year, A new year and a fresh start. I heard some excellent advice. Even though you make New Year Resolutions, if you "slip", just forgive yourself and start over. Sometimes when we make resolutions, we are setting ourselves up to fail. We are expecting too much too soon. Perhaps re-evaluating the conditions we included with the resolution would help us be successful. As an example, If you need some exercise, start out with a 15 min. walk, three days a week. Once you start feelings the positive feelings from accomplisihing that goal, you may want to add 10 more minutes. Before you know it, you will be walking or exercising and enjoying it. Personally, I like to think of these resolutions as life style changes. That worked especially well when I stopped eating "junk food". It has been 8 years and I find my appetite for that kind of food is gone. Taking the word "diet" out of my vocabulary worked well for me. I never intended to go back to my old habits once my cholesterol and sugars levels were normal. Rewarding yourself is another way to keep motivated. You do not need a pat on the back from someone else, ( that might not happen.) Do something for yourself that will make you happy. You need rewards to stay motivated. Funny how just allowing yourself to have some time to gather your thoughts, read a book, listen to music, or enjoy "stillness" can be so rewarding. I don't know about you, but I expect more from myself than anyone else does. I took time this past year to observe what was real and what was just my imagination regarding expectations. I even asked some of the people in my life what they were actually expecting from me. I found that no one was really expecting anything. They appreciated what I did for them, but it wasn't a requirement for their love or respect. Wow, what a relief. My life is less stressful and so is the guilt and resentment I was carrying around. I find myself even wanting to do some of the things I was resisting. My actions started coming from a joyful and giving heart, rather than a feeling of servitude. Reviewing the chapter in my book regarding communication reminded me to articulate what I want in my life. It is always nice when someone can "read my mind." I find it is best to communicate. In reality, it is the fair thing to do. I can get in a very negative mood because I am expecting someone else to know what I thinking. Assuming will not work well in relationships. I've known that for many years, yet I find myself doing it. Just being aware, helps me to stop and re-evaluate my actions. Getting away from stress is a goal I started last year and continue to work on this new year. Since I had my 70th birthday in October, I realize many of the activities I needed to do in the past is no longer required of me. There will always be the unexpected stress. Life experiences continue to accumulate and I am still gathering spices, some I enjoy and I some I do not. The lessons I have learned from the past is, I have a choice regarding how I am going to react to every situation. Obligation and making a choice are two different actions. That realization has helped my stress level to decrease. I wish each of you success with your goals for the New Year. I trust you will treat yourself with respect and kindness. July 2009 Three months have gone by since the release of Well Seasoned Women. I have been sending books to several "seasoned" women. The response I received is wonderful. For those of you who are going through the book on your own, I encourage you to continue. I even started working my own workbook. There is always something new to learn about myself and I am motivated to start making changes. One experience that has been so beneficial is following the advice in the Short Range Stress Plan section. I have been walking for the last several years. I walk three days a week for 11/2 hours. I realize this is the perfect exercise for me. I slack off every now and then, but once I get my butt out of bed and start again, I feel so much better. I had to take a look at my nutrition. I found skipping breakfast was not helping my energy level. I never cared much for breakfast food. However, I have osteoporosis and I know it is important for me to have some milk in my diet. I found a breakfast cereal that is "tolerable" and I put fresh blueberries on it. What a difference that has made as far as my energy level. It also helps with assimilating all the vitamins I take in the morning. The breathing I know is so important, but again, I needed to be reminded to stop and take a nice deep breath, especially when I am stressed. I practice this when I am driving also. At a stop light or stop sign, I take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. That helps me to enjoy my drive more and to realize, being in a hurry does not get me to my location any quicker. The most important stress plan I have re-introduced to my lifestyle is "Relax". Doing the progressive relaxation will not change your circumstances, but it will certainly change your reaction to them. Taking five minutes and starting with your head all the way to your toes, relax each part of your body. Concentrate on breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Also take your mind to a place that feels peaceful and joyful and stay there until you are ready to "come back" At that point, you can carrying on with your daily activities. This is so simple to do, and yet, I forget to do it. I am canalizing a a lot, so. If I don't write about doing this exercise, I realize " I forgot".......that keeps me on track. I want to mention how important the support of my family and friends are to me. Staying connected to the special people in my life keeps my heart pumping. It gives me a reason to get up in the morning. The last thing I have on my mind, just before falling asleep, is how blessed I am for the people I love and especially for the people who love me back. Thank you for your interest in Well Seasoned Women. I always enjoy hearing from my readers. At the present time, I am starting a Well Seasoned Women Group in Orange County. There will not be a charge for the group but each member will need to have a book. I will be facilitating the group. I will sell the books for $25.00. I do have sponsors for women who would like to participate, but need help purchasing the book. Please advise me if that is the situation. It is my purpose to share this book with every woman that is interested in using her life experiences in a creative tasteful way. Please e-mail me if you are interested in joining the group. Information regarding the date, time and place will be given in my next newsletter. brenda@wellseasonedwomen.com. Seasoned with Joy, Brenda | 
